There's no cake, if that's what you're after

Dear blog – did you know we’ve been together for a year now?

Well, I’ve, had, the time of my life and I owe it all to you.

What an Idol journey we’ve had. Let’s check out the videohighlightsreel:

Remember that time we outed Alan Jones? And broke the Cheryl Kernot – Gareth Evans scandal? My what larks!

And then there was the time we got booked for speeding and unsuccessfully blamed it on another (dead) blog! I really thought we were going to get away with that. But the Daily Telegraph’s always had it in for me.

I think we made up for it by totally being the first to really predict the popularity of the whole emo thing. Our fashion posts are really top notch. We is always way ahead of the trends.

That’s why last week we celebrated our 5 billionth comment! I guess having been on the interwebs since like, 1993 the day after they invented it has really paid off for me.

Ah, Mr Bloggy. If had any mathematical sense at all I would probably try and work out exactly how much you’ve cost the tax payers in lost productivity. It probably hasn’t cost as much as to buy faulty military hardware, so it probably isn’t worth losing too much sleep over.

But I was thinking, whilst you’ve been ever so good to me there are few things I have promised you that I haven’t really come good on. Like that totally bitchin’ re-design I’ve done for your template but just haven’t uploaded yet. I know you are an old skool blog at heart, but I promise one day you’ll have some crazy animated gifs, heaps of bouncing smileys, that ‘fart button’ banner and profitable google ads to call your own.

And I almost forgot to mention our readers! I’ve been checking out our stats and I think we’re up to like, 3 now (I’ve counted hits from my work computer’s IP address as well as the home IP address, so it may be a little less than that in actual fact).

W00tski to us!