He's gonna get you when you are asleep...

Michael Jackson scares me.

And not just in a ‘general displeasure with the excesses of celebrity and plastic surgery’ kinda way.

But in an ‘I can't stand to look at photos of him’ way.

He has managed to do all the right things to make his facial features inherently disturbing, in the same way that horror film directors design their villains with all-black eyeballs or grotesquely distorted features. The face being such an important visual reference that any kind of distortion instinctively puts a viewer on edge.

Unless of course they are post-its on his face – stuck there to remind him which bits are awful.

The festy season

There are many ‘wrong’ things relating to Christmas and workplaces.

Tinsel draped over the photocopier in early November, motion-activated toys blaring tinny Christmas carols, flashing santa ear-rings, compulsory socialising, etc etc.

But the prize goes to the person in my group who organised our group Christmas lunch – Indian food, in the middle of the day, in 31 degree heat.

VOMIT!

No, literally, vomit.

And no, the fact that I merrily went ahead and ate the food does not transfer any responsibility for the situation to me.