Wednesday, August 29, 2007

In America, I'm pretty sure teh kids get a decent edumacation in civics.

You know, electrical electoral systems and the value of the vote, etc etc.

And even here in Australia, there are ads and campaigns trying to get the message through - your vote is precious. Don't waste it! Etc etc.

Doesn't appear to be working though.

People just keep throwing their votes away, like any old piece of garbage.

A result so wrong, she almost got eye-gouged.

Yes, we know your mouth is the new Belconnen Bus Interchange ('Cor, you could drive a bus through that!' Boom-tish, etc etc)

When will people learn? Democracy, just doesn't work.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

That's personal

Me: What is this bint wearing?

LovelyWife: A giant dunny roll coming away from itself.


Speaking of toilet paper, anyone else get one of these numbers in the post today?

Useful stuff. We were wondering how we were going to talk to Tobias about drugs.

Thanks, Prime Minister.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Top 24 what, exactly? Mouth breathers?

Dear Daniel,

People are starting to notice that you are always wearing a scarf. The same scarf in fact. In every single scene you appear in.

My money's on a tracheotomy scar but I do welcome any attempt you make to cover up your abundant man-fur.

PS - Instead of relying on a scarf as a trademark representation of your 'individuality', why not try some personality instead?

I'm a real big fan of Noel Fielding, so it is great to see him reprise his Vince Noir character for this series of Idol. Check out the circumference on that hair. King of the mods!

Ben, your parents must be very glad they made the decision to raise you as a boy. Your girlish features and squeaky voice are certainly not a dead giveaway of your hermaphroditic roots - nuh-uh, not a bit, girlfriend.


There's enough entertainment value in this photo alone to justify Brianna's inclusion in the Top 24, but she also provided a few belly-laughs last night with lines such as "I'm quirky and different and I want to share that with the world."

I can't decide whether she'll bomb out of the competition following a 'kooky' rendition of an INXS song, or following a butchering of a Bjork song. The future holds so many enticing possibilities.

It is clear though that Marcia is already cultivating a wicked hatred of Brianna - if I had one of those clever televisions that knew automatically which parts of Idol I would like to blog about, and then took a screen-shot, and then sent it to my computer, then I would be able to include a picture of Marcia's face after telling Brianna she had made it to the Top 24.

But I don't.

So you'll just have to imagine it - think of how Marcia might look if she was attempting to shit a brick. That should do it.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Looks who is effluent now.

"The first [ad] break doesn't come until about 10 minutes in and they don't feel too intrusive to us because the story really gets under way."
Oh bollox.

You know, you could have just said "Seven offered us $6 million" and that's all the justification I would need to hear for the move from the ABC. This kind of poxy justification for the incorporation of advertisements into the show is more than nauseating.
In any event, be sure to keep your shark-jumping detection kit handy...

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Oh that's right, I have a blog

Meaningless things from my life you've missed hearing about lately:
  • The woman, a full-time employee, in the LovelyWife's team at work who said she wasn't going to be at work the next day because she "wasn't available that day" (how do people get away with crepe like that?!);
  • The woman who lives across the road from my parents has named her daughter "Emmasyn";
  • The woman at the LovelyWife's work who spent a morning randomly touching fellow employees with her new, vibrating "OH&S hand splint", that she bought at Fyshwick;
  • I will never tire of the the audition phase of Idol; and
  • The other day my need for caffeine completely overtook my principles and I bought a coffee from these shmucks, who we all know are in bed with these rabid oxygen-thieves. I feel very dirty. If I can't maintain pointless protests through meaningless product boycotts, what do I have left to live for?