Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Top 24 what, exactly? Mouth breathers?

Dear Daniel,

People are starting to notice that you are always wearing a scarf. The same scarf in fact. In every single scene you appear in.

My money's on a tracheotomy scar but I do welcome any attempt you make to cover up your abundant man-fur.

PS - Instead of relying on a scarf as a trademark representation of your 'individuality', why not try some personality instead?

I'm a real big fan of Noel Fielding, so it is great to see him reprise his Vince Noir character for this series of Idol. Check out the circumference on that hair. King of the mods!

Ben, your parents must be very glad they made the decision to raise you as a boy. Your girlish features and squeaky voice are certainly not a dead giveaway of your hermaphroditic roots - nuh-uh, not a bit, girlfriend.


There's enough entertainment value in this photo alone to justify Brianna's inclusion in the Top 24, but she also provided a few belly-laughs last night with lines such as "I'm quirky and different and I want to share that with the world."

I can't decide whether she'll bomb out of the competition following a 'kooky' rendition of an INXS song, or following a butchering of a Bjork song. The future holds so many enticing possibilities.

It is clear though that Marcia is already cultivating a wicked hatred of Brianna - if I had one of those clever televisions that knew automatically which parts of Idol I would like to blog about, and then took a screen-shot, and then sent it to my computer, then I would be able to include a picture of Marcia's face after telling Brianna she had made it to the Top 24.

But I don't.

So you'll just have to imagine it - think of how Marcia might look if she was attempting to shit a brick. That should do it.


Ampersand Duck said...

I LURV the fact that I never have to watch the show, just read your blog.

It's such a community service. Please continue.

Georg said...

Bloody hell, &duck has said almost what I wanted to say, which was: I am so glad you're back to blog Idle CSH, I do look forward to it continuing. Hint hint.

LaLa said...

The odd haircuts are really bothering me this year. I must be getting old.

I just feel like sending them back to the hairdresser to get it fixed up.

Woodsman said...

Thank goodness I wasnt alone in the scarf hating. He seemed to start some form of pandemic because by the top 24 episode about 50% of them had on ill-advised blue scarves!
Did you catch any of Teenage Fit Camp - one of the "contestant" kiddies was the absolute spitting image of the dummy-spitter Jasmine - it was freaking me out.

Scott said...

Hear hear, CSH - please join me in 2007 Idol blogging adventures on a consistent basis. I absolutely adored this pictorial analysis. And you are so spot on with the brewing Marcia/Brianna enmity - it makes so much sense.

Anonymous said...

I think people who watch Idol but who should know better need to explain why they are not consumed with existential angst (and guilt).

Or something relating to exploding heads.

I know its my chief concern when it comes to *whispers* that show.


ben said...

Actually, its not that bad hey. Pretty good really. So I take it all back.


Anonymous said...

i love the king of the mods