Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Last night I dreamt I turned up to my interview and had forgotten to wear pants...

Don’t ya hate it when, during a job interview:

• You get half way through a really long, rambling incoherent answer and you realise you’ve pretty much forgotten what the question was…

• You get half way through a really long, rambling incoherent answer and you look up to see the interviewers furrowing their brow in a quizzical, ‘wtf?!?!’ kind of way…

• You get half way through a really long, rambling incoherent answer and you break out in a fit of spoonerisms“in soing do, I have skooved my prills in various oral communitashion tenkniques….”

• You have worked before with the interviewers so you really can’t make a single thing up in any of your answers (so annoying!)…

• In one of your long, rambling incoherent answers, you choose to talk about a task you worked on in partnership with one of the interviewers, and you look up to see them with one eye-brow raised, and a look on their face that says “there’s no way you had that much responsibility/showed that much initiative/were that successful”….

• You see said interviewer writing a note and passing it to the other interviewers during the above, possible inaccurate representation of a joint work task…

• They ask the one question you knew you would stuff up so decided not to prepare for it in the blind hope they wouldn’t ask it… then you stuff up that answer…


Don’t ya hate it when, after a job interview:

• People ask you how you went and, holding back the tears of stress/fear/embarrassment, you say “oh, not so great actually, I was a little disappointed with my answers” – then they say “I’m sure you did fine”…. What are you basing that on!?!? You weren’t there to hear me talk about government when they asked about industry! You weren’t there when I just froze in the middle of a question and they had to ask if I needed a drink and some fresh air!!! Stop trying to be so nice! I’m cranky!

• You have to leave the interview and go straight into a scary meeting with the people who were interviewing you and the big scary chief-general-executive-managing-director of your work area…

• You go to the big scary meeting and the big scary chief-general-executive-managing-director mistakes your sullen demeanour and blood-shot eyes for a critical reaction to his proposals and demands you justify yourself "right this instant"….

• You really feel like at least 43 Bacardis but it is still too soon since the recent memory-loss inducing ‘night on the town’ to be able to stomach alcohol…

Only 68.5 working hours until my Christmas holidays.

Pass the Bacardi.

4 comments:

Ampersand Duck said...

[waves of sympathy]

comicstriphero said...

Aww, shucks. Thanks...!

I'm ok, my early on-set dementia means that I am now starting to forget everything about the interview and am back to my usual, erm, chipper self!

Pavlov's Cat said...

Poor thing, it was a bad one, wasn't it.

Last time I had a job interview, one of the panel asked me a coma-inducingly boring question and then SHUT HIS EYES halfway through the even more deeply coma-inducingly boring answer. (As I too would have done, it must be said.)

And then, on my way out, another member of the panel asked me a question the answer to which was on the front page of my application.

You are not alone.

comicstriphero said...

and then SHUT HIS EYES halfway through the even more deeply coma-inducingly boring answer

Ouch! That bites.

I would have been tempted to stop talking, get up from where I was sitting, and then sneak around to where the interviewer was.

Presuming he was still asleep by this stage, I would have placed my mouth 10 cm from his ear and then said really loudly: "I'm not boring you am I?"

Heh.

But of course, revenge fantasies never come true.