Monday, December 11, 2006

Random Rant

"So, what are you guys up to this weekend?"

I am becoming progressively ruder to shop assistants who ask me this question.

I just don't understand why this is any of their business.

I know it is just supposed to be an ice-breaker. I was once a faceless retail wench myself so I understand.

However, I settled for the "how are you today?" or, even more outrageously "can I help you with anything?"

I am aware that I am probably coming across as needlessly grizzled and misanthropic, but next time a retail flunkey asks me whether I'm "up to much" this weekend I'm thinking of replying with one or more of the following:

  • "Why? Will that determine whether or not you help me out today?"
  • "Well, since you asked, I'm going in for a colonoscopy. Seeing you're so interested, would you like to come?"
  • "Here, I printed off my itinerary for you as I knew you'd ask."
  • "What do you mean, 'what am I doing this weekend'?! Have you forgotten our date?" (I expect this to work doubly well with the lay-deeez).
Teh kids today - sheesh.


mysterbey said...

I hate it when those credit card salespeople approach me in shopping centres, asking "Hi, how are you today sir?". They don't care how I am, they just want to sell me something.

Mary Bennet said...

Hairdressers are the worst with their default question of "So are you going OUT tonight?"

When I was 16 and going out meant nothing more exciting than watching videos at a friend's house, I always felt compeltely inadequate. These days, (even though I quite often go out or even OUT) it's the make or break question for a first visit to a salon.

TimT said...

My flatmate asks me that question with a boring regularity. My usual answer is either a cheery 'Nothing!' or an equally cheery 'I have no idea!' Sometimes I do have things planned, but for some reason, I find it profoundly irritating that he keeps on asking that question for no other reason than to make some pointless conversation. So a simple answer to deflect conversation usually serves my purpose.

Oh, and here in Melbourne we get restaurateurs hustling us for our patronage, trying to get us into their marvellous establishments. The other day, I was looking for a meal on Degraves St and a restaurauter came up BEHIND my back and delivered the spiel.

I went without a meal that night - anything but to give their restaurant the satisfaction!

Anonymous said...

I was in a Melbourne cafe at lunchtime yesterday and the guy behind the counter pounced on me: 'These sandwiches are very popular today. They're delicious.' I said 'they look a bit heavy for me', and he replied, 'are you sure? I don't think so'. HOW WOULD HE KNOW? I left.