Unless of course it is patently hilarious in which case I make an exception.
Thanks to the open plan office, I am able to regularly experience the aural delights of a colleague I call "keybort woman".
She has attained this moniker on account of her stubborn inability to properly pronouce the 'd' sound.
From her lips, a 'd' is inexplicably hardened into a vile and incongruent 't' sound.
Hence, 'keyboard' becomes 'keybort'.
And this woman has become keybort woman.
In the comfort of our own home, the LovelyWife and I have expanded on this trend and have identified the following kinds of bort scattered amongst the everday of modern life:
Bort of directors
Snow bort (thankyou Winter Olympics)
Australian Wheat Bort
Today, I discoverd that it is not just when 'd' appears at the end of a word that it is mutilated by this woman. You can, apparently, harden your 'd' sounds whenever you like!
"That's what my frients dit. They bought a house in Turner ant then when they solt it, they solt it for over a million tollars.
"Ant, then they borrowed another tree-hunret and tirty thousant tollars... which is a lot now they have three kits.
Ant I sait 'you're kitting'! Don't forget that chilt care is really expensive."
Sometimes I just wanna sneak up behind her and whack her over the head with my keybort.