As the LovelyWife is being particularly lovely this evening and cooking me a rack of
I have interrupted this erstwhile diverting activity to break in and let you all know about THE WORST BABY NAME EVER. Either that, or there are no sub-editors at the SMH this week and this name is some kind of typo because no child's name could possibly be this horrific, dismaying and ghastly.
Here it is, laydeez and gentlemen:
Jaygen Bo.
Now, I know I previously lamented the invasion of 'Georgias' (or, even, 'Jorja'), but 'Jaygen'? Come on people.
And this is even before I've resorted to perusing the birth notices in the Illawara
Hold the phone! I've just started browsing the Mockery pages and... ta da!
Neshae Sarah
As the LovelyWife just said "fuck me sideways, that is hoarey."
I've also just found:
Charli
I don't care what anyone says, I would be forced to pronounce that "charl-eye".
But, just like Vanessa Williams, I've gone and saved the best for last. Oh boy oh boy.
Have I found the bogan-name bonanza we've all been waiting for! So many delights in the one birth notice!
FALLINS (nee Mahony).-
17/04/06. Kathryn, Vince and Ty are very proud to announce the safe arrival of their second precious grandchild and niece
SUMMER RAE
Congratulations and all our love to Chad, Raylee, Jayden and our precious princess Paris Jade.
I don't think there is anything I can add to that, quite frankly.
Enjoy your evening.
13 comments:
Oh, I should start looking at the SMH. I confine myself to the CT. Quite often you have to look at the whole family to get the complete weirdness hit. My favorites from the last few months are:
Amryn, joining sisters Soraya, Jazlin and Bryar
closely followed by
Alivia Kaarina (parents Anthony & Anne-Maree, sister Ashlee)
and then the very Dahlesque
Shantay Alice Trotter, new sister for Kynan and Danyon.
It's the best way to spend a Saturday morning, for my money!
You're making this up. These are really from the Daily Terror aren't they?
Ok, so my son's name is Dashiell. I can't be throwing stones living in a glass house and all...one day I will take you to the Newtown playgroup, now THERE'S some names for you.
OMG i love it! It's all so K&K, and I love how you squeezed in the Vanessa Williams reference (how long were you sitting on that one? :P)
I wish I knew a Jaygen Bo, just so I could call him J-Bo for short.
I like Dashiell, as long as you were pre-Cate Blanchett...
I wouldn't even know how to pronounce most of those and my kid took ages to forgive being called Euan, gaelic spelling. Paris Jade I would never forgive.
Yes, I've got a 1950s vintage silly name I'm always having to spell for people, and frequently fantasise about changing my name to Mary. But I do think it's absolutely tragic that two such wonderful things as Paris-the-city and jade-the-rock should have been so ravaged by overuse in recent years.
That said, one of my favourite children's books had a family of kids in it called Garnet, Ruby, Emerald and Pearl. I loved this idea with a passion, but I think I would have felt quite differently if they'd been called Malachite, Felspar, Gneiss and Schist.
In a cunning ploy to promote my own blog, the show I've just written about, My Super Sweet Sixteenth, has a lot of badly named rich kids, such as Carlysia (!) and Bjorn (pronounced bu-jorn rather than bee-yorn)...
Here's one for the an(n)als...
I just saw a student's name on a paper...
the name was Ephiphanie
Duck - overload! bogan overload! Shantay? Jazlin? I don't think I can cope.
georg - we've seen a number of Dashiells lately in the birth notices. Beware!
tonch - ok, you win with J-Bo. And as for 'saving up' the Vanessa Williams reference? As if. She's always in my heart.
Jahteh - nothin' wrong with Euan. At least you didn't make it up.
Canberra living person - Bogan Jay! Yes, new winner! Sorry tonch.
Pav - werd on the having to spell one's name all the time. Although mine really is quite simple, I don't know why it is always mangled by people.
And I know a perfectly nice young lady called Ruby. No, actually, she is the devil in the form of a three year old, but not to worry.
Bookperson - Yes, I believe that was the Chav website. Oh the memories...
Weasel - mark them down.
Saturday July 1, 2006, The Sydney Morning Herald
GRUBER, Andreas and Hannah
(nee Walker) are delighted
to announce the birth of
Ruby Esther on June 10, 2006
at P.O.W. Private Hospital.
A bundle of joy.
Ruby Gruber
Hey Comicstrip hero, your blog is funny. I have an update for you on your bogan names. I'll see your Jaygen Bo, and raise you a Dusty Raiyn. I blogged on it, and linked to this post, so thought I should let you know. Cheers!
http://monkeybizness.wordpress.com/2007/05/04/when-blog-posts-write-themselves/
Jaytah
Sorry to do this to you, but Euan is actually the Anglo-Scottish spelling as is Ewan and Ieuan being the Welsh. The gaelic spelling would be Eòghann.
Try these ones out for size (and pronunciation)
Caiomhe
Aoife
Grainne
Eibhilín
Conchobhar
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