Wednesday, November 08, 2006

No-horse race, thanks.

So did I mention I hate the Melbourne Cup?

I used to just hate the event itself, but each year I am becoming more and more sincerely grizzled over the senseless enthusiasm people express towards it. Senseless I tell you! Anything with a pack-mentality really sh*ts me these days and the Melbourne Cup stinks of it.

It's right up there with St Patrick's Day, Oktoberfest and New Year's Eve on the list of meaningless events that bring out my inner killjoy.

And what's with pretending like it is glamorous? Let me tell you, b*tches, the truly glamorous don't tend to hang out in an ill-fitting dress in a car park sipping pre-mixed drinks and eating party pies.

"Drunk at 11.30am - another great life achievement"

Sure, Breezers are affordable and party pies can be quite tasty, but they's aint classy.
"Eating is cheating girls!"

I tell you what is much more exciting - the US mid-term elections! (Wow! Blogger's new 'seamless segue' button really works!)
"New US $50 note design"

Just try stealing this one now, f*ck-face.

My main source of interest is probably the local consequences of a Democrat resurgence. Sure would suck to be you, asshat:
"I can't believe I forgot my tie-pin - I look ridiculous"

A US congress with the potential to impeach Bush? Now that's worth breaking out the party pies for.


Causal said...

Take a moment, and help convince Nancy Pelosi to Impeach..

The day the nation demands impeachment is upon us. Sacks and sacks of mail are about to arrive in Nancy Pelosi's office initiating impeachment via the House of Representative's own rules. This legal document is as binding as if a State or if the House itself passed the impeachment resolution (H.R. 635).

There's a little known and rarely used clause of the "Jefferson Manual" in the rules for the House of Representatives which sets forth the various ways in which a president can be impeached. Only the House Judiciary Committee puts together the Articles of Impeachment, but before that happens, someone has to initiate the process.

That's where we come in. In addition to a House Resolution (635), or the State-by-State method, one of the ways to get impeachment going is for individual citizens like you and me to submit a memorial. has created a new memorial based on one which was successful in impeaching a federal official in the past. You can find it on their website as a PDF.

You can initiate the impeachment process and simultaneously help to convince Pelosi to follow through with the process. Do-It-Yourself by downloading the memorial, filling in the relevant information in the blanks (your name, state, etc.), and sending it in. Be a part of history.

TLA said...

Well now. That's an interesting message there from "Causal". Shame you're not a US citizen and everything, though, huh?

In any case, that's a mighty fine picture of our Fearless Leader So Sadly Struck Down by Dwarfism and Bad Fashion Sense there.

Nice work, csh. Nice work indeed.

TLA said...

Oh, and also? Cheap whores in unflattering dresses and shoes that bear no resemblance to sensible deserve all the sunburn/pneumonia and blisters that they get. Plus hopefully some food and/or alcohol poisoning from the alcopops and party-sized packages of lips and arseholes.

comicstriphero said...

Wow Causal! I feel as though you've written that especially for me! Very touching and not at all form letter. Shucks.

TLA - Food poisoning yes, as long as you throw up in your handbag you'll still be classy.

Ampersand Duck said...

I'd give you a high five but elsewhere you said you'd hurt your hand, so I'll just say RIGHT ON on all counts.

Anonymous said...

Hell yeah. The only glamorous thing about the Melbourne Cup (in Melbourne) is the public holiday. The whole spectacle (especially all the fillies cantering around town wearing next-to-nothing despite the freezing cold) is just one more item of proof that we are, in the main, a nation of bogans.

shula said...

Anyone seen the movie, 'Kenny'? Summed up my first and only experience of the Melbourne Cup to a T.

redcap said...

I despise the Melbourne Cup too! And New Year's Eve! I started to post on the enormouse waste of space that is Cup Day, but then I just felt bitchy and waspish (well, bitchier and most waspish than usual) and didn't. So thank you for that. I've laughed AND I feel validated :)

comicstriphero said...

I feel validated too. So thanks everyone.

I think I mentioned my feelings about the cup at work, on cup day. So much stunned silence and staring. Anyone'd think I dropped my daks or something truly shocking.

I'm so unAustralian.