Monday, January 15, 2007

Anyone? No? Dussst.

I am simultaneously disgusted, delighted, horrified and perplexed by this:

This (if like me you had not seen it before), is ‘Sprayduster’, a product which made the rounds here at work recently.

It is full of compressed air which is sprayed, through the tubular attachment, onto one’s keyboard keybort to dislodge what collects between and beneath the keys.

I am:

Disgusted – because judging by the amount of crud dislodged from my keybort, I appear to have inherited it from someone with dandruff, eczema, flaky nails, hand tinea and leprosy.

I don’t think I’m a germ-a-phobe, but EWWWWW! Spray Duster dislodged what looked like at least 10 years worth of someone’s discarded epidermis, food crumbs, nose-pickings (probably) and god knows what else.

To think I have been touching this much crud!! And I use these fingers to continuously graze occasionally enjoy a workplace snack with! Blergh!

Delighted – because now I have a lovely (relatively) clean keybort on which to bang out my cutting-edge policy analysis and incisive and strongly supported advice.

Horrified – on behalf of you all that the public service agency I work for has chosen to spend your tax-dollars on this very embodiment of modern consumerist excess.

Perplexed – by the swirling ball of conflicting emotions I am experiencing.

As you can see, I am all at once very impressed by this product’s effectiveness and ingenuity, disgusted by what it reveals about the hygiene of my surrounds, uneasy about the excess it represents and resentful of the cold-burn it gave my hand (the can was ice-cold‘You’re as cooooold as ice!’ – there, some nice Foreigner for you all to get stuck in your heads, mwah-ah-ah).

And to think - I was worried I was losing the ability to write about the really important issues! As if!


shula said...

Hang on, let me just get this straight...

It's a can of fucking AIR?!

Oh, and thanks for the foreigner virus, mate. I've been done like a dinner.

...willing to sacrifice our love...

A.R. said...

Careful! That stuff can kill...

JahTeh said...

What's wrong with turning the keyboard upside down and shaking it? I remember doing a post about keyboard inhabitants last year after a report in New Scientist, scary stuff especially for a latte sipping bloke, fortunately I'm female.

cristy said...

That was cruel.

I have been transported back to Heaven (the old Canberra nightclub that is) in the late 90s. Why me? Why anybody?