I don’t think there is any point looking forward to next week’s Australian Princess finale anymore – I think we can all exhale.
I’m pretty sure Paul Burrell is just going to go ahead and award himself the title and snatch the tiara away from Jackie O with his common little butler’s hands. None of our surgically enhanced lovelies are good enough for him it would seem – I guess that’s what comes of being so far up Princess Diana’s a*se that daylight is but a distant memory.
In fact I bet he's spewing that he doesn't even get a mention in The Queen.
What a seething heap of hysteria he is – veins popping on his forehead as [insert name of interchangeable contestant here] puts milk into the tea-cup before the tea.
I mean, sh*t! He’s right! That is much worse than the shocker hot-pink shirt and maroon tie combo he was sporting….. And it really puts Matthew Newton’s ‘things that batter’ in perspective. Or something.
They could easily rename this show “Grasping ex-butler’s quest to impose on otherwise easy going women an unending list of obscure, impossible to adhere to social rituals and useless, demeaning hierarchies with no relevance to real life”.
I’d still watch.