Wednesday, May 16, 2007

And another thing

On Saturday night, the LovelyWife and I dragged ourselves away from our usual Saturday night activities of knitting and complaining about young people (old ladies, us) to see Missy Higgins at the AIS arena.

I could make this post about how bizarre it is to watch a live performance in a converted basketball stadium, lined with rickety temporary seating, in the middle of nowhere, but this is Canberra and that is a given.

I could make this a post about people who sit at a concert watching the performance through their mobile phone while recording the whole thing for later (way to miss out on the real impact of the performance). But people are idiots, and that is a given.

Or I could make this a post about how obnoxious young people appear to have become (stop talking during the concert – I don’t give a sh*t about your planned camping trip to Splendour in the Grass, and could you please stop spilling your UDLs all over my jacket). But, as noted above, I am an old lady, and that is a given.

Instead, my chosen gripe is uptight, late-30s, overly made-up, tight-jeans and pointy boot wearing, McMansion-inhabiting women, giving me the tell-tale ‘gasp! A lesbian! Right here in River City! stare, all over the place.

Fuck off you skanky trolls! The looks we were getting, anyone would think we were at a Hillsong meeting, instead of a concert by a singer of noted ambiguous sexuality.

Gee, heading off to a Missy Higgins concert… Hmmm, never considered the possibility there might be just a couple of lesbians there?

In this case, as it happens, I am convinced that each and every lesbian in Canberra was in attendance. Judging by the looks on their faces, I think they were having a similar experience to me – ‘You mean their are other lesbians in Canberra?', etc etc.

But anyway, back to the ranting - there were evil stares coming my way in the carpark, the foyer, the bar queue, the toilet queue and the merchandising queue.

Of most amusement however, was the skanky troll giving me and the wife homophobic leers whilst we were in the bar queue.

As it happened, the wife had arranged by text message to meet up with a work colleague in the bar area. Upon collecting our outrageously priced tinnies, we wandered over to discover that the above noted skanky troll was at the concert with the wife’s work colleague.

Work colleague made obligatory introductions, leading to skanky troll being forced to actually speak with lesbians. Hah! Suck on that.

But then, she awkwardly excused herself, saying she wanted to go in and take her seat… TWO HOURS before the main act was to commence!

Gee, I hope that 2 hours of sitting in that shitty, back-breaking chair listening to the world’s pokiest support act was more tolerable than talking to us uber-dykes.


Straight people. Crazy.


shula said...

We call them Footballers' Wives, here, immediately identifiable by their tight pants, stupid shoes, flashy jewellery, and awful voices, and I dreaded encounters of any kind with them at school pickups.

If I ever run into you at a MH concert, I promise to yell "YAY!! LESBIANS!!" in my loudest voice, and to jump on top of you both.

It'll give them something to talk about.

comicstriphero said...

Heh heh heh. That would be teh hilariousness!

Devil's Advocate said...

Missy Higgin's is a lesbian?

When did that happen?

Not that I liked her music in the first place but that's not the point...someone told me that Fergie is a lesbian too.

I didn't know that either.

I don't think it's true though.

Sam said...

'...a singer of noted ambiguous sexuality.'

I didn't think there was any ambiguity - she a big fat diver of muff, ain't she?

cristy said...

I hope that you took the time to visit her in her seat and engage in some well timed PDA.

People like that used to make me feel so humiliated as a child (when I was out with my Mum and her partner) and I still resent them for it.

JahTeh said...

They'll let peasants in anywhere these days. It's a shame the class act of you and the lady wife had to put up with them.

seepi said...

Cos ya know ya woulda jumped her if she hung around!!


Telly said...

Sooo how was the actual concert? Like the new Missy music?

comicstriphero said...

Heh heh, youse are all pretty hilariousness.

Telly - the concert was fine, not my bag, more of my wife's cup of tea. But there is no doubting that woman's talent.