Thursday, May 03, 2007

Don't you wish your employees were hot like mine?

So...this afternoon I met with a soon-to-be member of my caliphate team, in my capacity as David Brent manager.

We met in a nearby cafe - it's an establishment that doesn't offer table service but charges the same as those that do 'order your coffee at the counter and take a seat' kinda place.

ANYWAY, said soon-to-be minion receives her coffee first.

Said coffee has "single?" marked into the froth.

(Soon-to-be minion being a not-altogether-unattractive young thing of a female persuasion with trendy glasses and a confident manner. Barista being of a similar description, substituting 'piercings' for 'glasses' and 'male' for 'female'.)

I wasn't really sure how to react to it, so I went with a combination of:

1) WTF?!?!?
2) Why don't I get propositions included in my coffee? Oh, that's right, the butchness.


3) WTF?!?!?

I don't know quite why, but this incident, and my reaction to it, makes me feel really old and uncool.

That's alright, I'll just take out these frustrations on the soon-to-be minion when she starts work in a couple of weeks.

That would be the mature, middle-management type thing to do.


bec said...

*shakes head*


What Would Degrassi Say??

TimT said...

Was it at Starbucks?

Georg said...

Ah, the yoof of today. God I feel old.

TimT said...


In retrospect that was the wrong link to put in. I had meant to allude to the fondness of officey-types for Starbucks, not imply that you were one of those people mentioned in the email.

*Walks of muttering to self about posting too hastily.*

shula said...


Though, I confess, I thought the froth tactic rather imaginative.

On the other hand, I also regard coffee as sacred, and as such, could consider such a tactic a trifle violating.

Never mind, CSH, you were just born a little early for cafe culture pick up techniques.

As was I. Dammit.

You found The Lovely Wife, regardless.

Off to buy a coffee.

Right. Now.

Devil's Advocate said...

Maybe you ordered the wrong kind of coffee? Don't all the different coffees mean certain codes to the staff?

Like when I used to work in a supermarket...these girls would come in and buy a whole heap of cat food and ask for extra plastic bags.

That meant they were single.

I'm hoping to get hit on in a coffee place one day...only this time it won't involve a baseball bat and a police restraining order.

TimT said...

Hello, can I have a Attachedbutnotamisstocasualflirtingocino, a singlebutnotlookingiatto, and a flat white, please?

TimT said...

Or maybe just the hoary old,

I'll have what SHE'S having.

LaLa said...

Bah, I am a breeder and used to be a "barista" (I use that term loosely) and would never dream on doing that sort of shit.

If you wanted to avoid it you could just order long blacks.

bec said...

A Long Black What?

ba dom tish.

Bernice said...

I would have leant over & said 'I think that's mine.....'