First of all, I'll admit that this was a test of my integrity. Let’s face it, who isn’t tempted to doctor these things to make oneself look really interesting and sophisticated?
What do you mean ‘no, not me’? What's that you say? You’ve got 'morals'? Shut up!
So anyway, excuse me if I lapse into narcissistic fibs every now and then. I’ve tried to control myself, really I have!
Four jobs you've had in your life:
1 Paralegal in a medical negligence firm (forget those Woman’s Day pictures of ‘When Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong’, I’ve seen the real thing and yes, boob implants do explode!)
Four movies you could watch over and over:
Look, I’ve developed this really terrible memory problem of late (or maybe I’ve had it for a while, I can’t remember – boom tish!) so I’ll probably complete this list and then days later think of all the cool movies I wish I’d put down instead (edit: what, you mean like early David Lynch movies, and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?)
1 Napoleon Dynamite
3 Best in Show
4 Go Fish (I know it’s the worst movie ever made, but I had to include it - its a self-awakening type of thing)
Notice how I didn’t even bother trying to lie on this one? I’m PROUD of my cultural anemia.
Four places you've lived
So you’re telling me that places I’ve imagined don’t count? Whatev! So. Picky.
1 Somewhere in the suburbs of Sydney (they’re all the same anyhow)
2 South Newtown (whilst it wasn’t strictly speaking my home, I spent 6 nights out of 7 there when I first met the Lovely Wife)
4 Various Canberra suburbs (now they’re all the same)
Four TV shows you love to watch:
Too many to choose!
Why, yes! I am incredibly smart, clever and sophisticated! Thanks for noticing!
Four places you've been on holiday:
So very depressing.
Four websites you visit daily:
1 Google (well duh)
2 This really excellent blog called ‘comicstriphero’. Gee its good. Make it your homepage.
3 www.smh.com.au (just so I can sneer at its commercialism, honest)
4 Kawasaki sports bike riders’ forum Because I is just a dirty stinkin' biker after all
Four of your favorite foods:
1 Vietnamese rice paper rolls
2 Angel hair pasta with parmesan, butter and poppy seeds (try it, its amazing)
3 Toasted tomato, rocket and boconcini sandwiches
4 Anything that comes on a little train (sushi!)
Four places you'd rather be:
1 Pre-renovation Wembley, during an FA Cup final (is going back in time going to be a problem?)
2 Playing rugby again (going to need a knee operation for that one)
3 Paul Keating’s Australia (again, there were no stated rules about going back in time)
4 Coogee Women’s Pool. Paradise.
So there you go. Aren’t I sophistimacated? No? Fair call.
If it is any consolation, I’m just as disappointed with me as you are.