Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Lift and jerk

Ok, that’s it.

I’ve feckin had it with those people who don’t let others exit lifts before barging in themselves, elbows first. Over and over again, the lift doors open and there they are, one foot from your face, sighing impatiently at your very existence.

Hey, toolbag! I know I’m ‘in your way’ but I can’t actually feckin dematerialise you know. Maybe we could share the planet?

Let’s think about it for just a second, Mr Impatient Moron – if you are standing there, 3 inches from the doors as they open, blocking people’s exit from the lift, where do you expect them to go? Backwards into all the other people still in the lift?

Or, rather than the person who has limited space to move giving way, maybe you, with all that empty, unbounded space behind you, could step to the side – something that the people still inside the lift can’t physically do.

Oh sorry, I forgot. It’s all about you and your brief case/6-inch heels, isn’t it. Bet you wish you could drive your 4WD around inside and just run people over if they get in your way.

And before you all pipe up with a clever comment about how insignificant my gripes are – there’s plenty of people in this world writing about the significant issues. I’m simply filling a gap in the market.

9 comments:

LaLa said...

I REVEL in insignificant issues.

Carry on.

thisisme said...

That happened to me 4 times today - and I can't write it as well as you did. Carry on with the insignificant issues.

Mindy said...

I also dislike those people who madly push the door close button when they see you approaching, even if they are the only person in the lift.

comicstriphero said...

Carry on with the insignificant issues

Lucky for you - that's all I've got.

Mindy - Are you serious? That's sociopathic, surely.

Anonymous said...

nice title

Ampersand Duck said...

I love the way your posts make me hiss yesssssss between my teeth as I read. Especially when I'm in an internet cafe.

comicstriphero said...

I'd love to see that, Duck.

The hissing in the internet cafe, I mean.

c. said...

P. and I are considering printing this off and taping it to the inside of the lifts in our apartment building...

Thank you for putting into words something that was just crying out to be written!

Mindy said...

Well I was pregnant at the time, maybe they thought it was catching? Or they thought I might burst in the elevator or something. But it happened a few times.