Whiny, weedy, pastey bloke responsible for World Cup glory

Never used to really like John Safran. Particularly not in the Race Around the World days. Maybe it was to do with that show, I don’t know (I mean, David Caesar is pretty much the most annoying jerk I can think of right now, and he makes bad movies, and then the show just turned into one of those shows where once it became obvious that it had some appeal, the ABC went all overkill and shit – like Good News Week *shudder*).

But anyway, we’re all going to have to consider liking John since it seems he is responsible for the mega-World-Cup-qualifying-win-of-glory-extravaganza that you may have noticed lately.

In his recent series, John Safran v God (notable for the extended montage of John being spanked by a Buddhist monk – saucy!), one particular episode centered on a curse placed on the Socceroos in Mozambique in the late 1970s. Since that time, the Socceroos had failed to qualify for the World Cup.

Rather than this being due to a series of superior opponents, poor defending, an inability to shoot on target and Frank Farina, the idea was that the curse was the problem.

I recall the process for reversing the curse involved some kind of humourous and nauseating combination of John Safran and animal blood.

But, whaddya know? One year, John Safran travels to Mozambique to lift the curse, the next year, the Socceroos qualify!

So you know what this means, don’t you. African sorcery is the real religion everybody!

Save yourselves while you still can!